Graduates are always that extremely happy to move to college or university that they do not even think about what is waiting for them. The desire to receive the long-awaited freedom, the opportunity to make decisions independently, go where you want, do what you want, come home whenever you want without having to ask your parents. This is a step into adulthood, and you will share it not only with your classmates but also with your roommates.
There will be people you’ve never seen before. Each of them has already mature personality with his own character, habits, and attitude to life. To re-educate them is not your task, you should get along with them, in order to live under one roof harmoniously, comfortably for both of you.
Whether you have a choice
Sometimes students have the opportunity to choose their future roommates while moving in. The 1st impression can be deceptive, but you are able to make conclusions about whether you can live with such a person on the spot. If an untidy person is standing in front of you, he might be the same in terms of the order in the house. If he/she communicates with you rudely for no reason, this is also an occasion to reflect, because with strangers we try to behave as politely as possible. But do not delude yourself if at the 1st meeting you think that you have found the ideal neighbor, you might change your opinion later.
Even the nicest people have some strangeness in their heads. Ask what your potential neighbor is interested in, what kind of hobby he has. He might adore animals and with him lives a domestic pet like a spider, mouse or snake. Musicians are also specific neighbors, be ready for the situation, that sooner or later they will wake you up getting carried away with a rehearsal. Unhealthy habits like smoking can also cause a lot of inconveniences. That is why if it’s all alien to you, continue the searches of a suitable roommate.
To be or not to be?
If you and your friend or acquaintance managed to enter the same educational institution, this does not mean that you have to settle and live together. You liked to spend your free time but to live and to meet once a week are different things. Before making a decision, try to go on small joint vacation, where you will realize if you can get along with each other.
If you coincide in the social status, the regime of the day, the ways of rest and housekeeping, you cannot think of anything better. If not – speak honestly. If this is a true friend – he will understand and won’t want to spoil relations with you living together.
Boundaries as they are
Sharing living space with someone does not mean that now you have everything in common, places, products or money. Each person needs his own space; otherwise his existence turns into torture. The opportunity to be alone, clear boundaries that cannot be violated are those things that have to be discussed immediately without delay. If you do not want to spoil your or your roommate’s nerves – establish limits not to cross the line.
The set of rules
The simplest way to adhere to order and harmony is to follow the rules. Sit down and discuss all possible situations to the smallest detail. Do not insist only on your vision of solving the problem, listen to the neighbor’s arguments and make a compromise. You are not the only person in this apartment who should feel comfortable, and the person you will be living with is not your relative to accept you as you are. We will have to sacrifice something as well. This code of rules must always be in an accessible place. Try to keep your word and do not take it out on the neighbor’s oversight. Allow the person to get used to the new way of life.
How dare you?
One of the points in this code can be a rule about personal things. For someone, this is in order of things to take someone else’s thing without permission or get out sausages of the fridge and eat although he did not buy them. Lack of ownership is a bad quality for a person. You’ll get angry any time you will not be able to find something. And it’s not because you’re greedy. Make an agreement that you can share something and help each other out, but only with the permission of the owner. It would be fair.
Cinderella, is it you?
Everyone has his own concept of cleanliness and order, and here you also have to come to a common denominator. One thing is when all clothes in the wardrobe are hung in certain color order, someone will look at this madness and will be proud to have just put away the washed things in the closet. Two different habits. The main rule is not to leave dirt after you and keep your things so that they do not interfere with the neighbor. It would be enough. This way you will not face cockroaches and unpleasant smells. Maintaining cleanliness is always easier than cleaning.
Solve the financial question. You can chip in for the purchase of food and human essential common goods. If you are a vegetarian, and your neighbor cannot live without meat, then this is not your option. You can buy everything for yourself only. There are disadvantages in both of these options, that is why it’s up to you. You can experiment and every month try a new one until you are ready to make a decision. Look at what will be more economical and more profitable.
Respect the wishes of your neighbor
You would not like it if in the middle of the night when you have long been sleeping before some important event or exam, your roommate “broke into” the flat with a loud laugh, with his friends, and hung out in the next room listening to music loudly. Even if it’s not too late for guests, ask your neighbor if he minds if you watch TV or call your friends for a small party? You will spend 2 minutes but show respect. Next time he will do the same towards you.
A dating club
Student life is full of acquaintances, meetings, and relationships with the opposite sex. People do not always want to walk for hours in the park or waste another bunch of money in a cafe. Why come up with anything when you can come home? There is nothing wrong with this until it turns into an absurdity. You agreed to live only with one person, and in fact, you have to share a home with a “married couple.” Do not allow to turn your apartment into a house of assignation.
All questions can be solved and are troubles avoided if you are able to communicate. Communicate with each other and tell what’s bothering you. It will make you closer and lead to understanding and trust. You might even find a new friend in his face. Do it step by step, because not everyone likes to chat all days long. Tell him about yourself, ask your neighbor, make a deal to talk about problems without delay, if any.
Do not teach to live
Everything cannot be perfect, leave a utopia for fairy tales. If your parents instilled good manners in you, taught to cook, wash, clean, your neighbor leaves a cup in the sink and see no problem in it. You prepare for the defense of tomorrow’s project, and your neighbor returns in the morning from the party. Do not become his mommy or a life coach, do not tell him off or give unsolicited advice. This is his life, and he must learn from his own mistakes. Help as much as possible, but do not overreact.
Little picnic never killed nobody
You do not have to become best friends if he is not your type of person, but you can try to spend a little time together. Everyone can teach us something new or show something that we have never seen. Arrange a pajamas party, invite more classmates, visit the movies or have a picnic or barbecue in the open air, go shopping. Relax and take a break from the hard study days.
If you are lucky enough to live with a neighbor from another country, this is also a reason to learn about another culture and customs. In the future, you might be happy to visit each other after your graduation.
The last straw
Do your best to get along with your roommate. Usually, a friendly treatment works wonderfully, and you will find a common language very quickly. But if you try, and he does not meet you halfway despite all the conversations and requests, think about moving. You do not have to tolerate a bad attitude towards yourself and if you do not feel comfortable, contact those who can help you.